When is a finca really a finca?
Those Colombians. Everybody’s got a finca or an uncle with a finca, and you’re invited. But how do you know if it’s really a finca?
Ask yourself these questions. If you can answer SÍ, SEÑOR to most of them, then you, amigo, have found yourself on a finca.
- If you bused there, did you have to ask the driver to stop in a specific, unmarked location?
- Did you then have to walk and/or take another form of transportation?
- If someone drove you, did you make at least 2 stops en route for anything from snacks to photo ops?
- Is there enough beer for a frat house on a Thursday night?
- Has someone forced you to drink guaro (aguardiente), even after you said you didn’t like it?
- Is there at least one relative or hired caretaker at your side the instant you need help with something?
- Are there various animals wandering around in form of pets and livestock?
- Have you participated in some sort of group meal preparation?
- Is the climate different enough from Bogotá (or your base city of choice) that you packed special clothing, such as shorts or a heavy jacket?
- Is there a constant soundtrack of vallenato, salsa and Colombian Spanish?
- Are there fruit trees?
- Are you doing a lot of sitting around?
- Are there hammocks?
- Are there magically enough sleeping spots for everyone?
- Has anyone told you that you’re “in your house?”
- Have you eaten produce, meat or dairy from the property where you’re staying?
- Did you go on an excursion?
- Are you exhausted and relaxed all at the same time?
- Are you dreading your return to Real Life in the Big City?
Final Verdict: Finca, or Not Finca?
(Photos from el llano and La Vega)