Eleven Signs I May Be Turning Colombian

  1. Anytime I sit somewhere, I immediately look for a place to put my bag other than the floor. Everyone knows the floor’s bad luck.
  2. Water is great and all, but, juice.
  3. I almost said “jueputa” (expletive) to a work contact on the phone this week when I heard something that wasn’t what I was hoping to hear. I blame the costeños for this.
  4. 90 degrees = long pants and possibly sneakers
  5. Similarly, I feel uncomfortable if I leave the house without some makeup and at least a pair of earrings, even if I’m just jumping on a bus to practice.
  6. I don’t buy more than one of anything at the grocery store because I’ll just go back.
  7. Why would I walk and eat this empanada on the way to wherever when I can stand on the corner for a few minutes and enjoy it?
  8. I haven’t actually done this but I occasionally have the urge to cross myself when I walk or drive by a church…
  9. Sometimes I forget U.S. body language. Very often I forget English words for things. Juiciosa and tranquila don’t translate well, anyway.
  10. Anytime I see a gringo (and it’s not someone I know) my head whips around and I stare.
  11. I took a bus ten blocks today because it seemed too far to walk.

And 4 Signs I am definitely NOT Colombian:

  1. I still refuse to drink that syrupy brown filth known as Pony Malta.
  2. I can make any ATM transaction in ten minutes or less.
  3. I’m punctual. I just am.
  4. I openly admit that I like Shakira.

 

November 2012:

November 2012: Everything on my body except this dress was purchased in Colombia. Most importantly the Bon Bon Bum in my mouth. Thanks Jessicat for the picture!

 

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