“The Aesthetic of Lostness”

I get it. I get why people are boring, or stationary, or afraid to do something different.
Because it sucks.
When you leave somewhere to get to know somewhere else, you run the risk of meeting other people.
You get attached.
You learn things.
The world gets frighteningly bigger and smaller all at once.
You find yourself partido between one or five or twenty worlds.
Maybe you can’t speak your native language anymore without including words from your second language.
Every time you go somewhere, there is someone you care about who isn’t going to be there. Then you start caring about more someones in the new place and they become the ones who won’t be in the other places.
You settle in and create a home where it may be impossible to stay.
You leave a place for a month and realize that the Sad Day upon which you leave for good is going to be heartbreaking and terrible.
Visits become lessons on perspective. Fifteen year olds throw you curveballs with their uncorrupted sweetness.
Your absence is duly noted in several diverse places simultaneously. There is nothing you can do about this.
You realize that money doesn’t measure success or happiness but it sure helps move things along.
Complete strangers, albeit kind ones, tell you you’re brave for doing what you do and you just want to punch them in the face because WTF does that mean, really?
You start to panic that you’re well on the path to becoming the flaky, erratic lunatic who never figured it out at the right time.
You start to understand that you’ll never see or know as much as you want to.
Your everyday complaints turn petty and trifling in context with what you have seen.
It becomes clear that never in a hundred lifetimes could you repay the kindness of friends and strangers along the way.
You can’t forget, much less undo the places you’ve been.
So why bother in the first place?

[Note: I am immensely thankful for my opportunities. I am very much aware that many, many people in the world have so many external factors against them that they become rooted or stuck. Travel, however, doesn’t mean you have to move. It is essentially about awareness, openmindedness. Acknowledging the world and taking advantage of it in whatever way you can.]

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